Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Motivation returned

"Come on, Miss!" the high pitched voice of the imp calls.

"But I don't feel like going anywhere. I'm too sad," the undead woman sulks, causing her already unpleasant face to sag even further.

"Tiresya, there's a war going on out there. We can't just sit here or the enemy will win. You are a powerful caster, much like myself. You are needed."

"I'd rather just die. Everyone I love is already dead."

"Come on. You don't really mean that!" The imp settles a tiny hand on her shoulder in an attempt at comforting her. "This is an opportunity, Tiresya. Think of all the, ermm, good you can do in helping to push back the, uhh, Forsaken. You could avenge the deaths of your loved ones!" At this last lie, the imp can't resist releasing a tiny chuckle.

Lost in her own thoughts, the laugh goes unnoticed. She slowly nods her head in agreement.

The imp continues, "Besides, the fellow upstairs has given us a special task, to retrieve his lost pet, Sparky."

A slight smile passes over the woman's waxen lips, "Ohhh, what kind of pet is Sparky? A dog or cat?"

"Umm, I'm not sure, but the gentleman did say he is fond of fish."

"Ohh, then it much be a cat. I do like cats."

"Well then, come on, girl! Let's go!" The imp grabs her hand and tugs gently.



Wednesday, April 18, 2012

A lovely day for a waltz through the minefield

The night elf is obviously not in good shape. Her hair is blackened on the ends and smoking, and she is covered in soot. She limps up to the goblin and throws a dented and soot smudged toolbox at his feet. "Here's your damn toolbox, Jeer! And if you happen to leave it in a minefield again, don't look at me to go get it!"

The goblin shrugs and mutters his thanks. 

"By the way," she frowns at him, "You really should have warned me not to fly in. It's going to be a while before I'm able to transform into my storm crow form again, thanks to you!" She rubs her sore arms, which are scraped and bruised, but no where near as bad as if they were her wings.

"Hey, doll, I didn't tell you to fly in. I said you should try to follow the path I took to get out!"

"Who sets up turrets to protect a minefield? What the heck is that minefield protecting anyway? There doesn't seem to be anything over there."

The goblin shrugs again, rummaging through his recovered tools to ensure they are all there, "You know, important stuff."

She sighs and half stomps, half limps away, disgusted.


Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Nuts!


I was just going to the Bough of Eternals bank in Darnassus to deposit some of my new and more valuable archaelogical finds, when I saw something rather unusual. There was this adorable squirrel trying in vain to get the attention of one of the bankers. He was chattering and scampering from foot to foot, trying to leap high enough to attract attention.

Now I have no idea what the fellow wanted, or how he expected to communicate with said banker, but I flagged the banker down nonetheless and went about my business. I suppose it's entirely possible that he had left his cache of nuts at the bank, after all it is in a tree. Or maybe he had come for help, having been polymorphed into a squirrel by a mad magician.

I may never know, as I couldn't bear to stick around, for I was struggling to control a fit of laughter. I quickly shapeshifted into my storm crow form and flew away, cackling to my hearts content.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

A first meeting


A loud groan emanates from the freshly dug grave. Slowly a young woman's pale and dirty face appears as she sits up. She is obviously no longer alive, her skin sags unnaturally away from her bones, her hair is dirty and disheveled, and her eyes are missing. A high pitched nasally voice greets her. "Hey, miss. You ok?" says the imp.

"Ughh," she says as she stretches her arms and then attempts to rub her eyes in order to restore her sight. She lets out a shriek as she discovers her eyes are missing. "My eyes! I'm blind!"

"It's ok, miss. I'm here. I'll help you," the imp replies patiently.

She stretches her arms out waving them in front of her. "Where are you? Who are you?" Her hands swish through the air passing over the imp's head as he bows elegantly before her, apparently forgetting that she can't see him.

"Zigyal, at your service, miss. You can call me Ziggy." He stretches a tiny hand out to meet hers and shakes it in greeting.

"Oh!" She gasps, "Your hands are so small!"

"Errrm, right. Uhh, I'm, ahhh - a gnome afterall." The imp nods and smiles, proud of his lie.

"Pleased to meet you, Ziggy. Umm... Do you have any idea what has happened? Last I remember I was sending fireballs towards a Forsaken ship, then there was a huge explosion...." She reaches out to grab for him, but he ducks away from her, and she waves her hands frantically in search of her new friend. "Oh! Please tell me my mother and father are ok?! Please!"

"Calm down, miss. We'll get this sorted out. I promise."

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

It's Scandalous!

She wipes a bead of sweat from her brow, inadvertently smudging her face with dirt, and continues digging, muttering to herself, "There's just got to be something here!" She stands up and backs off, dusting the dirt from her britches and surveys the area once more. "Yep! Definitely something here," she says over her shoulder to her partner and goes back to the dig.

Her partner saunters up and looks over her shoulder, "Looks like it might be one of those famous 'Scandalous Silk Nightgowns' so often found here. Eldre'thar is well known for them."

She peers up at her partner, eyes wide, "You really think it might be one? Oh! I hope I can get it out without damaging it."

Her partner chuckles and wanders off to his own dig site.

Hours later, as the sun is setting over the mountains her partner makes his way back to her, startled to find her crying over a strewn mess of dirty and tattered cloth. "What happened?" he asks.

"Oh! It fell to shreds when I finally managed to release it. Now I'll never know what made the garment so scandalous!"

"Maybe that's why it is in shreds." He winks slyly at her.


Edit: I really wish this was a wearable item, even if still gray. Then again, I imagine our lovely ESRB rating might have to be changed if it was wearable. Lord only knows what the Night Elves would find scandalous!

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Blog Azeroth Shared Topic: Rats and Turtles and Pinchy, Oh My!

StringTheory of Perish Twice has submitted this week's Blog Azeroth Shared Topic as follows:
(See other bloggers take on this topic here)
Fishing is an odd sort of minigame in WoW and people I've talked to either love it or hate it. So what's your take on the most grindy of sports?
If you love it: Why? Where's your favorite spot to go drop a line and veg while waiting for a strike?
If not: Why not? What would make it more fun? Or is there a way to make fishing fun?
And lastly, for those of you with hard-won turtles and rats and lobsters 'o doom—show 'em off!  (Because I'm proud of my stupid rat and darned if I'm not going to sneak my own screenshot in.)
This has prompted the following vignette:


There's nothing like fishing. Pulling on my waders and relaxing in the great outdoors, listening to the water lap against the shore, waiting for the excitement of that first nibble.

I think part of the reason I enjoy fishing so much is because it gives me a chance to unwind from the battles of the day. This is the same reason I like picking herbs and archaeological digs.

The one thing I dislike most about fishing is the bait. I hate spearing poor wriggling worms onto the hook. That's why I was so excited to find a Bone Fishing Pole in a Bag of Shiny Things. It may be a little creepy using a rod made of bones, but it comes with an unlimited supply of phantom worms pre-hooked. The fish seem to like it just as well as real bait, maybe even better.

Another one of the other reasons I enjoy fishing so much is because I love to eat fish, all kinds of fish. I'd go so far as to say it is my favorite kind of food, from Bristlewhisker Catfish to Golden Fishsticks. I like it all.

Mmmm... On that note, I'm off fishing. I'm hungry!

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Big Bear Butt's Writing Challenge

Big Bear Butt has given us a challenge as follows:

I have a little creative writing challenge for you… purely for fun.

My challenge is simple.


Write a short story. I don’t care how short, or what kind of story, or even what form your story takes. BUT… your story, poem, dirty limerick or whatever you choose to do must incorporate within it in some way the following words;


  1. juicy
  2. slender
  3. vain
  4. shaft
  5. torch
  6. star
  7. hidden


Here is my offering:


It had been many years since she had visited this hidden grotto, her personal place to worship the goddess. She needed no torch to guide her in this dark place. Many years of visits had ingrained the details into her mind. Though now a druid in training, this former priestess had never forgotten her first calling. Now wearing her old but well preserved mooncloth robes, as though it was only yesterday that she had been expelled from the Temple.

It was after the Sundering, after the previous cataclysm, that she had been removed from the priesthood. Prior, priests of Elune had been able to cast arcane spells with the goddess' blessing. With the corruption of Lady Azshara and all that came with her lust for arcane power, use of these spells became taboo, and eventually were forbidden to the priests.

This priestess' favorite spell had been the one known as Star Shards, dropping bits of starlight down from the heavens to harm her enemies. She refused to stop using her arcane spells, and so she was stripped from the priesthood, but she never stopped worshipping Elune. Thankfully the druids were more tolerant and took her in.

She moves slowly and sensually, slender pale purple arms swaying rhythmically as she casts her spell, summoning a shaft of moonlight, the gift of Elune, purifying the area. The beauty of her movements and her dress, the pale blue of her robes accentuating the glow of her eyes, she knew would please the goddess, though she is not vain. She kneels and places her sacrifice on the altar, a bowl of juicy moonberries, and begins her prayer. She comes seeking guidance in her missionary work in the land once known as Draenor. Though the battle against the Legion in that world has been won, still it's corruption washes over the land.

The goddess is pleased by her offering and grants her strength in her mission to quell such corruption, her skin briefly glowing with blue-white light as Elune's blessing washes over her. She bows her head in silent thanks.